OOPS…


Did you know Tony is an animal lover?
Well he is. He has a chimpanzee. He has a non profit agency that contributes to several animal welfare NPO’s. He is a very giving kinda guy.

OK…that was my contribution of the day to say something NICE. WARNING!! DANGER ! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!

The next post is going to be adult content only…I AM PISSED …RAGING !!

…a little bit later…

I am going to go have a cup or glass of…something…and calm down and then write. In the state if Idaho if you make threats regarding someone’s life, that is a HOMICDAL threat and they can lock you up for that. No questions asked. 5 day hold in the nut house.

Many Hours Later…
I am still not a happy camper… BUT… better than I was . SO…here is the issue:

The California Speedway Pepsi 400 is this weekend. My Dale goes every year and has a “guy” week, in a motorhome infield. This has been this way for years. His boss decided he needed to change his vacation time and wants Dale to come back and work early ( tells him this the day before he flies out). I am saying nothing else at this time, but there is a future plan for the Church of the Great Oval…and it ain’t in Idaho. “At will employment”…goes 2 ways….so we will keep you posted with the plan…lol.

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Tributes to Tony

MY SCREEN SAVER

Bristle at Bristol


Well, last night was the Bristol race. Bristol seems to bring out the worst in everyone. Drivers…crews…EVERYONE. Top it off with the added fuel of the fact that there are only 2 more races before the Chase.
I thought there was going to be an issue between Jeff Gordon and Brian Vickers. Now I am not a Gordon groupie. I am not a fan at all in fact. I think he a Whiner. I can’t stand his nasally little man-voice. When he is whining with his whiney sounding voice , it makes it doubley grating to my ears. His voice makes me bristle. I hate whining. From anyone. BUT, in fairness to #24, he is one HELL of a good driver…he has had a bad year and it is not his fault. I found myself actually rooting for him last night. He deserves to be in the Chase. I am glad he is only a few points out now. I want him in the Chase. He needs to be in the Chase. Great racers are what it is all about, and he is that. Brian Vickers is one of those young driver’s that I believe is headed somewhere big. I am glad they worked it out. I was sad at the fact that they are teammates, Gordon was on a roll, and Vickers wouldn’t give it up. My bow to your elder’s mentality I guess.
I also love the fact that Brian Vickers doesn’t bow and that he is aggressive and does what he feels he needs to do for HIMSELF. If it would have been Kurt Busch or Robbie Gordon that he won’t give in to, then I would be on my feet and cheering. Figure that out. I LOVE THIS SPORT.
Carl Edwards got a talking to from Kyle Petty on live TV. I sure was wishing I could read lips…when Edwards turned away and Kyle put his hand on his shoulder, I thought UH-OH!! But as it turned out it was a fatherly touch…like a Daddy when the rebellious teenager isn’t listening and tries to avoid the conversation, Kyle hooked him around the neck with that Fatherly hug thing and kept talking and in the end they were smiling. Your very good Carl. Listen to your Elders.
Then there was the Dale Jarrett and Ryan Newman issue. OUCH. That just plain sucked. I hate it when Jarrett is upset. I love him (NOT AS MUCH AS YOU TONY, so don’t worry). Dale Jarrett should be in the Chase. I HOPE…he is like riding a roller coaster…up then down….and up….and down…I am praying for you Dale. We want you in there. You deserve it. YOU can DO IT. I JUST KNOW IT. You are greatly loved in this house. I can prove it. Look at our walls… (if you noticed the above picture, it is in the LIVING ROOM…and it is not a picture. It is a FLAG. A huge FLAG…
which brings me to the reason I said Bristol brings out the worst in Everyone.
I am going to write this in Green. Green is the color of healing…abundance…and the Super food Ogwalla…super blue green algae with lots of veggies in it. Mmmm, that is what I need right now. Food for my brain.
Bristol also brought out the worst in my life partner. I HATE IT when that happens. My Dale happens to be Dale Jarrett’s #1 fan. So…because Jarrett was upset and moody and refused an interview with the press, my Dale became moody and refused an interview with me. Not a good thing because my interview was in regards to decorating the Church of the Great Oval. The picture of the flag above is NOTHING. This place is the Church of the Great Oval. We also have a 1992 Blue Bird Bus. The Future Home of The Church of the Great Oval. It will be this color purple. It is now this color blue. Which brings me back to what I was talking about. I need to paint the kitchen. I need to put some of his thousands of Nascar car’s (which are very expensive BIG BOY toys, like hot wheels but bigger, and made in platinum and gold) up on top of the plant shelves that engulf our home. My sweet Man for some reason, thinks I am not capable of climbing up on a ladder and doing it myself. He is afraid I will get hurt. Now I am 47 years old, raised 4 daughters on my own and had been single from 1984 until 2002 when I met him. I hate to break the news to him, BUT I have climbed a few ladders in my life. I built a 3 story tree house by myself. And it was cool…built in benches and railings. Not your ordinary tree house. A GODDESS treehouse. I need to have these cars moved because guess where they are stacked up, because the collection is growing and growing? MY OFFICE. My studio. I now have about a 4×4 ft space to work in and it’s getting smaller. There ain’t no room for me to make any money there…I am an artist. I have thousands and thousands of gemstones and jewelry findings. Files…with paperwork important to my buisness. My space is being claimed by his stuff. ( His stuff was here before me. I was actually the one who claimed the space when I moved in.) But I had a deadline (Sept 1st) and here we are. It is still there and I want to climb the ladder. This is about power and control and who’s gonna win here. Bristol. By the end of the week it will be forgotton. Blame it on Bristol.

NEVER dis’ my Driver.


I was sorting through my hundreds of backed up emails the other day after a modem crisis. I saw an email from my best friend of twenty some years. She was innocently inquiring about my daughter’s birthday when she made a near fatal mistake…

Hey, isn’t it almost Kelsey’s birthday? The 23rd? The 29th? Something like that, right?

Where ya been? I haven’t seen you online for a couple days. Not since you left to go watch Tony lose the race the other day. (Sorry. Had to say that.)

Maybe we’ll talk tomorrow. I was just wondering about Kelsey’s birthday and trying to remember when it is. Maybe it’s the 28th. Seems like it’s the twenty somethingth. I don’t think that’s a word. Oh well. Add it to our dictionary.

Me

“Hmmm”…I thought as I bristled at the thought of MY Smoke being called a “loser”. I decided that instead of being purely vindictive I would educate her. I began my instruction in several E-Lessons from the Church of the Great Oval.

The following e-lessons were delivered to her email :
1. 11:03:05 AM MST 8/23/05 A very large file (1.3 MB) containg a very LARGE picture of Tony Stewart. First lesson in identifying GREATNESS.
2. 11:03:31 AM MST 8/23/05 Church of the Great Oval E-Lesson #1
Subject:RE: Tony losing
Date:8/23/2005 11:03:31 PM Mountain Daylight Time
From: Church of the Great Oval
Reply To: COTGreatOval@aol.com
To:!#$$%^^@wmconnect.com (not the real email address)

Sent on: 8/23/2005 11:03:31
Sent from the Internet

A little Nascar Lesson…
1. Tony did not LOSE. He was 5th which keeps him in the top ten of the race which still adds points to the chase to the championship. (HE IS THE LEADER you know…HE is GOING to WIN the championship hands down and that is just the way it is.) So mote it be…
He started around 38th cuz he was fooling everyone the night before. He wanted the other drivers to think his car wouldn’t do well when he was qualifying. It’s all part of the PLAN girly-girl. He finished 5th, which is Awesome. You need to watch the races to see that he is usually leading the whole race. Once in awhile he LETS someone pass him. That is because he feels sorry for them and let’s them have a couple points for leading a lap or two… he is so nice, and even tempered and courteous and cautious. He worry’s the other drivers delicate feelings might be hurt if he hogs all the lead all the time. HE IS THE GREATEST DRIVER ON EARTH!!
There. I had to give you the lesson and set you straight about a few things…and you better not be rooting for Jeff Gordon, or DE JR. Jimmy Johnson is right behind Tony so you cannot root for him either, even if he is gorgeous.

3. 11:06:26 AM MST 8/23/05 Another file (6.5 KB) containing a picture of Tony Stewart driving the #20 Home Depot beauty. E-lesson on in car identification of the BEST of the BEST.
4. 11:06:44 AM MST 8/23/05 File (13.3 KB) containing next e-lesson in identifiying the #20 Home Depot Chevy. (She’s a smart gal. Usually two digit numbers aren’t to tough for her to remember. I was concerned however, about the loss of her mental cognition, perception, and Reality Orientation after the comment about Tony in her original email.)
5. 11:30:35 AM MST 8/23/2005 She replied back. She said something showing she needed more education. Something like:”I saw the standings and I didn’t see Tony anywhere.”
I immediately said a Church of the Great Oval prayer for her soul ‘s salvation and replied back with E-Lesson # 2.
If you go to : http://www.nascar.com/ you will see my boy’s name at the front of all of them…you were sorely mistaken honey…..
or you can go to http://www.tonystewart.com/
or http://www.foxsports.com/
or http://www.speed.com/
or….do I need to say more?
I also added a few graphics to the lesson that said :BIFF!! SLAM!! POW!!
APPLAUSE!! (with audio)
6. I , being the Educational Director at Church of the Great Oval, then forwarded many,many pages from the Sacred Site www.nascar.com . Pages and pages of stats and information. Information and Stats all day long poured in to her box. Home Depot Driver Tony Stewart stats and pictures and bio’s…

I received the following reply at the end of the day:

Subject: Re: NASCAR.com – Races – Standings
Date:8/23/2005 8:06:20 PM Mountain Standard Time

From: ~!$^&^^@wmconnect.com

To: COTGreatOval@aol.com

Holy shit. Okay, okay. Tony Stewart rules! Yea! Go Tony! Weeeee! I made a boo boo. I won’t let THAT happen again. If I feel inclined to say something negative again, I’ll make sure I say it about somebody that doesn’t matter so much – like Dale or one of your children. Or God. Okay????

That is right my friend…Always be humble, and BOW TO GREATNESS.

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Hmmmm….

“I think I am on to sumpthin” I say.
“Boogity…BOOgity…BOOGITY!!” D.W. says…

…all sorts of thoughts are going through my mind as it turns and churns over this gigantic life decision…

1. I can get ordained on line for FREE on the internet.
2. I could marry people at races.
3. I could perform baptisms.
4. I could perform funerals.
5. I could get a tv ministry and make a BUTTLOAD of money.
6. This might even be LEGAL.
7. I am fairly sure that I am going to offend someone with all this.

***WE are still making up and adding to the creed and bylaws of the Church…also known by the acronym COTGO.*** PLEASE FEEL FREE to continue to add you comments or email us :COTGO@aol.com . MORE LATAH!!!!
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The Church of the Great Oval or COTGO as it shall heretofore be known…

It is my feeling that as a citizen concerned with the religious rights of All, that being forced to work on Sunday because of driving, “give it to me right now”, consumerism is wrong. Obviously some government officials out there in our fine country agreed with me and gave employees the right to apply for religious accommodations from employers, so they could not be forced to work on the Sabbath of their choice. I, being an avid Nascar fan have come up with a solution to the “Sunday dillema” for all Race fans. It is called :
The “Church of the Great Oval” .
To join this church you must agree to and follow the creeds and doctrine of said church. They are as follows:
1. You agree to observe the following days as Minor and Major Sabbaths…
a. ALL Sundays during Race Season. If there is no Race on Sunday you will use this day to celebrate that you have nothing that you HAVE to do. These will heretofore be considered MAJOR SABBATHS.
b. All Saturdays during Race Season. Although not all Saturdays have Races, there are always qualifying events and you might need to prepare for the Sunday Sabbath Race the next day. Saturdays are also considered MAJOR SABBATHS.
c. MINOR SABBATHS are considered to be any Thursday, Friday, Monday or Tuesday that you must travel to and from a Race to attend Church. This includes travel and recovery time.
d. All Race expenses, souvenier costs and related items shall be considered tithing.
e. Your Driver will be considered your personal Avatar. You must display the number of your Driver’s car somewhere proudly on your vehicle.
f. The more memorobilia you display, the more pious in the Church you will be.
The Church of the Great Oval is accepting suggestions to be added to the by- laws.
Until next time….Clance’ McClannahan

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WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS (William Hung)

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