It is my feeling that as a citizen concerned with the religious rights of All, that being forced to work on Sunday because of driving, “give it to me right now”, consumerism is wrong. Obviously some government officials out there in our fine country agreed with me and gave employees the right to apply for religious accommodations from employers, so they could not be forced to work on the Sabbath of their choice.
I, being an avid Nascar fan have come up with a solution to the “Sunday dillema” for all Race fans.
To join this church you must agree to and follow the creeds and doctrine of said church. They are as follows:
1. You agree to observe the following days as Minor and Major Sabbaths:
a. ALL Sundays during Race Season. If there is no Race on Sunday you will use this day to celebrate that you have nothing that you HAVE to do. These will heretofore be considered MAJOR SABBATHS.
b. All Saturdays during Race Season. Although not all Saturdays have Races, there are always qualifying events and you might need to prepare for the Sunday Sabbath Race the next day. Saturdays are also considered MAJOR SABBATHS.
c. MINOR SABBATHS are considered to be any Thursday, Friday, Monday or Tuesday that you must travel to and from a Race to attend Church. This includes travel and recovery time.
2. All Race expenses, souvenier costs and related items shall be considered tithing.
3. Your Driver will be considered your personal Avatar. You must display the number of your Driver’s car somewhere proudly on your vehicle.
3. a. The more memorobilia you display, the more pious in the Church you will be.
4. The Official Prayer Language of The Church shall be Typoneese.
5. The Official Battle Cry of The Church of the Great Oval shall be Tally Ho!! Onward LugNutz!! or GAS ON!! KILL THE RABBIT’S shooud there be a Rally or road course.
The Church of the Great Oval is accepting suggestions to be added to the by- laws.
In the Holy name of NASCAR,
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