NASCAR Fans! Cold And Flu Prevention Time!

Tips from The Church of the Great Oval Suggestion Box to help keep you healthy and germ-free in the stands while attending a NASCAR race:

Sneezing into a handkerchief just redirects germs back at you. Always sneeze outward so as to shoot germs as far in front of you as possible.

Do not blow your stuffed nose into tissues—this is a myth! Always suck your snot and phlem into the back of your throat and swallow it in great, goblike mouthfuls.

To prevent infections, and build your immune system, have sick people sitting next to you cough into your food. This light “inoculative” dose of germs will boost your body’s defenses against a full-blown infection later.

Make sure your HMO package covers visits to the hospital.

If you are a sickly, anemic, weak person, you have a higher susceptibility to colds and flu. So if you are going to go to a NASCAR race…

Try not to be such a pansy-ass.



  1. lol that means NO NASCAR RACES FOR ME!

  2. ROFL!!!!

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