NASCAR in Atlanta ~ The Astro Remake of “Song of the South” again…

I mean NA$CAR.
Atlanta Motor Speedway… Ryan Newman, in the#12 car, after losing his #1 position is relaxed, yet focused at the rear of the line. The Rocketman sits…ready…waiting…knowing he is going to kick some butt today. He’s in good company sitting back there with Dale Jarrett. D.J. is feeling very disappointed today. Ryan knows what his horoscope says for Atlanta, and affirms to himself:

Ryan loses pole position“My influence’s today stimulates my physical vitality, giving me the chance to work hard and accomplish much. My health is good during this time, and I am able to approach everything I do with vigor and self- confidence. And this carries over to the psychological level as well, as an ability to assert myself toward others and stand up for my views in any controversy. New opportunities to be personally effective often open up under this influence. For example, in my job I might get a chance to take on an important  victory, one I have been waiting for, for a long time. A well deserved opportunity. I know I also have Mars Trine Pluto activity from 18 March to 20 March. It’s theme is: Considerable credit!
I should formulate objectives for long-range efforts at this time. I will find out what I want to change about myself and my world and get to work on those changes. The energy I have now will allow me to keep up a sustained effort for a long time. At work I will be given an opportunity to wield more power and thereby be more effective personally. Today I will be given considerable credit for what I do.”
“Moon Trine Med.Coeli during the day means my personal needs and career needs are balanced, and there will not be as much tension between them as at other times.”

Ryan also knows that Clance’ is wearing the hat he autographed for her. She calls it “Ryan’s Lucky Star Hat”. It clashes with her Tony jammies.

Elliot starts in the #1 position but that will do him no good today. His scope sucks…again. Signs of big mechanical issues.

( Tony Stewart walks up to Jimmie Johnson and extends his hand. )
Tony begins to sing:
“How do you do?
Mighty pretty greeting,
How do you do? Say it when yer meeting..”
Jimmie Johnson sings back, shakes Tony’s hand and looks him in the eye:
“How do you do?
With everyone repeating,”
(Chad and Zippi join in )
“Pretty good sure as yer born.”

They obviously did not read their ‘scopes.

The National Anthem plays…The prayer is said for all the Drivers, fans, and families…

A Mighty Voice is heard inside Tony Stewart’s helmet, one that he thought only he could hear:

“Whilst you can’t ever go back and relive past glories, there are always better ones perpetually gathering. Indeed Tony Stewart , it is written in your genes, your DNA, and chiseled upon the pearly gates of heaven, that whosoever ventures into the jungles of time and space, from that day forward, all things must get better, and better, and better, ad infinitum.”
Oh what a scheme, I done did dream – and I AM the Great I AM.”

Ryan Newman, hearing the same voice in his ear, thinks to himself :

“I think it’s been a long long time
Till the pole brings me round again to find
I’m not the man they think I am at home
Oh no! No, no. I’m The Rocketman
The Rocketman! Burning out my tires in circles past the finish line, here alone!

I am The Rocketman…I AM.

He chant’s: “193.124 ” “193.124”

… And the crowd begins to sing and dance:
“Hee hee ha ha hee hee hoo hoo!
“Boy are we in luck! We’re visiting a real fast place.

We all like a real fast place! A real fast place to go!”
“Take a frown, turn it upside down
And we will find ours we know!”
“Honey fun is what we bring!
We’ve found one thats filled with fun!”

“Honey and rainbows on our way
Where everyone is worth his weight!
Boy are we in luck!”

“We’re visiting a real fast place!
Take a smile and for a while
You’ll find yours we know!”

“Honey and rainbows on our way
Take that frown, turn it upside down!”

Tension fills the air as the crowd, driver’s, and crew hear:

“GENTLEMAN!! Start!! Your!! Engines!!


(Instrumental music to the tune of “The wheels on the bus go round and round” plays in the background.)
The crowd watches in anticipation as the race begins.

Lap 1: Ryan Newman is humming to himself :

I have so many lucky stars!
Boy, they make the darkness seem so far!

When I’m lost they’ll be my guide
I just turn around and all cars will be on my backside!
Come on shine your heavenly bodies tonight
cause I know you’re gonna make everything all right!

These may be my lucky stars
Cuz I’m the luckiest by far!

 The crowd begins to sing to Mark Martin:
“If you chance to meet a frown
Do not let it stay!
Quickly turn it upside down
And smile that frown away!
No one likes a frowning face
Change it for a smile…
Make the world a better place
By smiling all the while!

The race goes on…and on…and on…

Lap 100

Ryan thinks about Carl Edwards ‘scope which is also pretty good, tho not as good as his own.

Tony is heard singing, on his own Directv channel:

Zipp-a-delli-doo-dah! Zippi-delli-ay!

My! Oh my! What a wonderful day!

Ryan snicker’s as he passes him, seeing some frustration suddenly all over Tony’s face.

Tony remembers “Wait!!” “I can control my temper!” “I am in love!!” “It doesn’t matter if the Alien’s stole my happy pills today!”

Meanwhile, the Alien’s, disguised as the Busch Brother’s, are both feeling very intense, tho in different ways. Kurt’s awareness of his personal relationships are overcoming his drive to win. He may not be giving his all out of loyalty, but is tiring of this, and quickly. His little brother has handled himself like a gentlemen lately but that may come to an end today. Although the crowd may not realize there is tension between the Brothers Busch, the stars show that there are. “Hmmm…” Kurt thinks to himself.  “I might have to kick his little rear end pretty soon.”

Eeeyore or Matt Kenseth?  Matt Kenseth might be feeling like Eeyore today. Hope I am wrong there.

Halfway through the race, Jeff Gordon is driving his heart out. He is struggling internally with his love of racing, and the awareness of Life itself. He is thinking he needs to be more careful. He has a child coming. He loves his wife. He wants to be with them for as long as he can. He is “Aware” and thinking of his own mortality now. He no longer feels that he can be reckless in anyway.

Dale Jr. is dealing with a lot of intense feeling both on and off the track, in every area of his life. He may feel a need to retreat and be by himself this evening.

Robby Gordon also is feeling a lot of intense feelings. Some triumphant, some satisfaction and is very happy to have a sponsor on the hood of his car. He is still in the astrological place where his own anger can get in his way right now. He is truly trying to work out his own inner issues. He truly has the total benefit of all in mind. This is also a time where no matter what Robby does, it will attract communication and attention from every conceivable corner of his life. In the long run, it will pay off. That is all that matters. Oh yeah…the other thing that matters is he will have the Motorola Logo on his car. Period. 

Politics and Na$car. Imagine that.

The race continues…still on…and on…and on.

Ryan is now singing “NASCAR ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact it’s hot as hell
And there’s no one there to raise them, if you did.
And all this science I do understand
It’s just my job every day of the week
I am The Rocketman…I AM.”

Kevin Harvick can’t get Van Morrison out of his head…

The wild night is calling.
And all the girls walk by
Dressed up for each other
And the boys do the boogie-woogie
On the corner of the street
And the people passin by
Just stare in wild wonder
And the inside juke-box
Roars out just like thunder.
And everything looks so complete…
The wild night is calling!

Jeff Burton after all the excitement of winning the Busch race agin this week, may suffer from an adrenaline crash today. Not a literal crash, but an emotional one.

David Stremme is feeling very good about himself today. He is confident and knows something exciting is happening to him. Look to see him a whole lot more in the future. Big things are coming…

Towards the end of the race it all come down to luck, skill and oddity. Today is also a NEW Moon, on the day of a Solar Eclipse. With this also affecting all the aspects, who knows what could happen. We know it will be fast. We know who’s going to be singing. There will be some surprises.

I don’t know if wearing my Tony jammies like I usually do on race day will help or not. I know I am wearing my Ryan’s Lucky Stars Hat” I think I will wear my cute little pink and black Ryan shirt too. Might as well stay comfy, and wear my black wide legged, cropped sweatpants too. I can feel cute and stylish.

Nope. Can’t do it. Just thinking about it makes me feel like a Traitor. I am wearing my orange and black Tony jammie bottoms with my Ryan hat and shirt. Or layer the Ryan shirt over a Tony shirt over a Robby shirt. Or vice versa. I am wearing the hat tho.


Maybe I won’t look as cute as I want, but I will be rooting for my Driver’s.

**By the way, NEXTEL/SPRINT? The attempt to remove the Motorola Logo on Robby’s car does not exactly make me want to run out and subscribe to your services.

NA$CAR? Are your attempts to gain more and more money in your own deals and contracts, going to screw your driver’s out of getting sponsor’s, which would screw you out of money by losing teams? Please. Let’s just get back to racin’. Pretty Please?

As always…As Above, so below.

Tally Ho! Onward LugNutZ!

“en wid dat he skip out des ez lively as a cricket” Uncle Remus



  1. Awesome writing….as always. The lighter side of things is always healthy.

    Kudos to Ryan for his positve attitude

  2. Hi Clance’, This is great. Just over an hour and then, “Boogity. Boogity. Boogity.” Life is good.

  3. Eeyore?
    This remake is a beauty. Racin’ about to start! Vroom! Vroom!

  4. “FEEEEEEEEL the Light Ryan!!! Deeeeeep Breath…now let it out.
    Yes…Life id good.
    Better to be Eeyore than Tigger!

  5. Aw…CRAPOLA!!!!! I left my Tony jammie’s in OR. I don’t even have any Tony clothe’s here. If he loses it’s all my fault. At least I have my Tony keychain and my #20 custom house key in the pocket of my cute black comfy pants, and my Black Hills gold #20 bracelet here. That will work fine, with the rest of my Ryan dud’s on. My Robby shirt is in OR too so I wrote his number on a piece of paper and pinned it to my Ryan shirt.
    Whew! I feel a little better now.

  6. Well, just so you don’t blame it on me. I wore my Tony jammie pants all day. So it’s not my fault. LOL

  7. Cool…

Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s