NASCAR Hammered

“If I were a NA$CAR Hammer”


If I were a hammer,
I’d hammer Teresa Earnhardt,
I’d hammer Chad Knaus and
Steve Letarte too.

I’d hammer Dale Jr.
I’d hammer Tony Stewart,
I’d hammer Kurt Busch and Zippi,
Kyle Busch and Tony Eury…
All over NA$CAR Land.

But I will change my rule books!
I’ll change them as I want to!
I’ll change them in inspection, in practice,
In the middle of the races!
Whoa -oh!
Just because I can.

So watch out all you race teams!
I’m coming with my hammer!
I’m coming for to get you!
More money for The Man.

I am coming in the morning
I’m coming in the evening
I’m coming in the trailer, the track,
the office and the Infield.
To get all the bucks I can.


Jeesh! Spank them…Don’t kill them.
Three strikes you’re out? Since when did NASCAR or NASCAR fan’s become the judge and jury of the penal system, and our teams become criminals? The fines handed down to Knaus and Letarte were way too stiff. What Kurt Busch did was way worse in my eyes and he didn’t even have to sit out a race.
I am disgusted.

Luke at Thunder Lounge wrote a brilliant and much more intelligent post on this subject than I. You can read it here.
Full Throttle’s Marc adds his bit of wisdom here. He backs himself up with the invisible rulebook too.
Charlie Turner, of On Pit Row fame, had a word or two to say about “rules and squirrels” on his blog Bench Racing with Steve and Charlie. “Ditto” says Clance’.
Hope Hammond butchered that hog. There are a lot of starving children in the world.

My GF Tex, one of the best blogger’s out there, disagrees with us. Her post is insightful and intelligent as always. We will just have to agree to disagree.

The day the Three Strikes You’re Out Rule (unless illegal drugs are involved), is, if ever, implemeted for “Creative Engineering”, is the day I may consider my Sacred Sport desicrated, put on Marc’s foil hat, and deem the sport no longer worthy of my worship.



  1. Whoa there girl. This is NASCAR remember? Nothing the Frenchies did last week will have any relationship to what’s decided in the next go-round. It’ll be allright. Hell, they’ll probably give Knaus the job as “Temporary vacation replacement tech inspector” while he’s on break, just to give Darby & Co. some much needed R & R.
    Oh, and I asked Jeff at MIS about the pig. He just smiled.

  2. You must get used to my type of ranting and raving Charlie:) Would I ever quit watching? Well…maybe if I was blind. But then, hopefully I could still hear, tho I wonder about that now.

  3. I do think it was a little harsh, but you read that. 😉

    With this “telling the teams” stuff, it seems NASCAR is relying on a lot of memo’s as of late to save their hide(s) when it hits the fan.

    They need an out, so they use it.

    It was still a no win situation, and yet again I’m thankful I’m not the one making the calls.

    Heh, can’t we all just sit down to some Bojangles and get figure out what’s in the rules, and not in the rules?

    If I were going to skirt the rules in an area I thought I could work in, would I really put it in plain site of anyone with 2 eyes? Nah, I don’t think so, Tim.

  4. Hello Good Friend,
    Your poem is wonderfully creative and has me smiling and humming.
    All this NASCAR drama keeps us engrossed and makes us wonder… What next ?
    No dullness this season and that’s a good thing.
    Hope the weather clears for Loudon.

    As always, enjoyed your thoughts,


  5. NASCAR’s about the power,
    the dollar$. And we? We say,
    “Kurt. You bad. Damn emotion.”

    We judge that, as being dangerous.
    And rightly so. But why do our
    souls refuse to utter the truth:

    “Chad. Habitually. You cheat.”
    And if the ain’t about dollar$,
    well, I guess I just don’t know.

  6. Pushing the mind creativly is a good thing Helen. You know that. You are a poet!

  7. Love ya, Clance’.

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